13 May 2010

The Butter-Cutter On The “Courageous Restraint” Medal

I entered the virtual Mess Hall uncertain as to how to caste the question I wanted to pose to The Butter-Cutter. My time ran out when he saw me.

“Hey! Welcome ta the Corps' version of a Slop Trough,” he shouted in greeting me from his station behind the Chow Line.

His characterization of Marine Corps food caught me unaware, but I tried to overlook it in asking, “Have you heard of the initiative under consideration to create a new award called a 'Courageous Restraint' Medal?” 

“A 'Courage . . .us . . .' what the f*** ya talkin' about?” he asked.

I knew this was going to be difficult, but I persevered. “The Services are considering a medal to be awarded to those who courageously refrain from an action which would otherwise cause . . .”

“Ya mean, like me 'refainin' from vomitin' as I hand out this shit we call Chow?” he blurted out.

“Don't call Marine Corps food, 'shit!' It is . . .”  

“There ya go again! It ain't me callin' this shit, shit. It's the whole freakin' Marine Corps! Didn't they call it 'Shit On A Shingle' back in ancient times when ya were on active duty?” He rejoined catching me off guard again.

“THAT was just one dish served for breakfast and, quit frankly, I liked it then and I like it now . . . when I can get it. In any case, that's not what this medal is all about. It would be awarded to those in 'Afghanistan who refrain from the use of deadly force at the risk to themselves' . . .”

“Ya mean, if I say, 'F*** YOU! I ain't gonna go on patrol cuz I wanna 'restraint' from shootin' somebody.' Do I get a medal, then, instead of a Court Martial?” he asked.

“NO! NO! This is about Marines refraining from the use of deadly force in dangerous situations where there is a chance of injuring civilians,” I explained.”

“Huh?” he answered. 

“The criteria for this medal is in concert with NATO's rules of engagement which are aimed at reducing civilian casualties in Afghanistan as a way of winning the support of the populace,” I explained.

“Ya sayin', I'm supposed ta whip these Talley-Banners by not shootin' 'em?”

“As has been emphasized for some time; the war in Afghanistan can only be won with the full support of the Afghan people. By minimizing casualties inflicted on the civilian populace, we will engender their support,” I tried to explain.

“Ya wanna 'engender' them casualties? I'll tell ya how ta 'engender' them f***in' Rag-Head civilian Mother F***ers: Pull all us guys outta there 'n' let 'em fight their own f***in' war!” The Butter-Cutter growled back.

“STOP THAT! This is a serious attempt to reward and encourage Marines and soldiers to exercise self-discipline in that very difficult environment of Afghanistan,” I said.

“Whatever the f***! Who came up with this idea anyhow?” he asked.

“Reportedly, it was the suggestion of the British commander, Maj. Gen. Nick Carter, in Afghanistan, “ I answered.

“WHAT? A f***in' Limey came up with this shit. Did he also recommend that the medal be a Yellow Lime with Dingleberry Cluster? The color talks fer itself 'n' the Dinglberry Cluster is fer the shit left in the skivvies o' them's that run away from the action,” The Butter-Cutter said.

“First of all, limes are green not yellow. Next, your assertion that this medal is for cowards could not be further from the truth. It would take manifest bravery to face down a hostile situation without resorting to the use of your weapon,” I shot back.

“Maaan, ya been retired too long. Marines are trained ta blow things up 'n' shoot people; that's why they call us WARRIORS 'N' GIVE US GUNS! Not shootin' ain't us! I'll tell ya somethin' else: AMERICANS AIN'T INTA DOIN' NOTHIN' 'N' THIS LIMEY MEDAL IS ABOUT DOIN' NOTHIN'. Let them . . .”

I cut him off to say, “Enough! British soldiers are fighting and dying in Afghanistan and do not deserve your disrespectful screed!”

Semper . . .

Anthony F. Milavic 

Major USMC (Ret.)